Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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