I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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