shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
