uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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