ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
