Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm at about main and main street
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
