almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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