i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
