im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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