The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
