marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
