so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
