i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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