I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
