when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
