we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize