The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
