Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
