Already got asked if we're dating
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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