So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
