They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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