People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
