Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
