we're blogging at a bar
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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