dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
