He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
