4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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