Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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