I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
