dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
