Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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