Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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