Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
