I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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