If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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