I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
