I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
