Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
two words: eviction party
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
