you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My dick has a subreddit
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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