why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
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Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
