We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
