he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
