I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
