Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Walk of Shame today included voting.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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