just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize