I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
