Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
