I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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