If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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