that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
