you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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