arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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