All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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