On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Randomize