That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
