My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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