Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
