goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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