Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
